Hat Tournament Report

Jing and I braved the windy conditions and the icy/watery fields to play in a Hat tournament in Nashua over the weekend.  It was a small tournament, maybe 36 players in all, but it was very well run.  The players were split into 4 teams and away we went.

There isn't really anything interesting about Hat tournaments.  There's very little strategy and consequently very few tactics to discuss.  So, instead, I'm going to write about a single player who did several delightful things.

Delightful thing #1: He looked off open receivers early in the count.

Perhaps in a certain offense, this trait of looking off open receivers is actually a strength. Perhaps this fellow was trained in this particular school of offense.  Sadly, he never let any of his teammates in on whatever offensive school he was coming from.  Instead, he often refused to pass the disc before "stall 6" when he had the first throw of a given possession.

This trait is hurtful in a number of ways.  First and foremost, you allow the defense to gain the advantage by keeping the disc stationary.  Secondly, receivers stop working to get open because they've ascertained that their openness has no bearing on whether or not they'll get the disc. Thirdly, the marker on the disc is able to lock in for the last 4 seconds of the stall count to force bad throws.

I think the reason that certain players do this is what I call "hero syndrome".  They want to be the hero and make the "big throw".  They think they are better than just moving the disc. Unfortunately, heroes tend to make a lot of turns and do plenty of other things that hurt their teams.

Delightful thing #2: He refused to engage with the dump.

As the stall count gets high and it inevitably will with the kind of player who looks off his receivers until "stall 6", handlers must ready themselves to reset the disc.  An experienced player knows that few quality throws occur after "stall 8" and so he adjusts his focus as the stall count climbs from down field receivers to dumps.  Dumping the disc isn't particularly difficult if you are willing to deliberately do it.  Dumping the disc is really difficult if you are only halfway trying to do it.

This particular player was rarely even halfway committed to the dump.  Sure, he would glance at you (the dump) when you were wide open over his shoulder on "stall 7".  Then, he would look back down field for 2 more seconds.  Just before "stall 10", he would exasperatedly throw a weird floater to the middle of the field as if to say "see what you made me do!"

This delights me to no end.  Just dump the disc.  Don't be a baby.  And for God's sake don't turn the disc because you are having a temper tantrum because the cutter (whom you don't know) didn't do what you wanted them to do.

Delightful thing #3: He would auto-fake.

This may be the nittiest point I can make, but I don't care.  I loathe the auto-fake.  For those who haven't had the pleasure of playing with and auto-faker, it works like this: you are open by several strides on the break side, the auto-faker sees this and fakes a throw to you, your defender catches up.

An auto-faker is a thrower who is unable to make a throw without faking first.  He is the worst kind of faker because his fakes are not used to create space for another throw.  They are, instead, involuntary like your lower leg kicking when the doctor hits you on the knee.  Please, if you are doing something while playing the game of Ultimate and you don't know why, consider your reasoning on the sideline after the point.  Do not continue  

It doesn't just happen on the break side either.  Auto-fakers are adept at faking open throws to the force side, on the sideline, or near the end zone.  They are equal opportunity idiots.  Here's an idea: see the open man, throw to the open man.

Delightful thing #4: He would pick up the disc on a turn regardless of the offense's field position.

This killed me and killed the team. We work to get a turnover on defense. 5 of the 7 team members are still in the process of disengaging from their defensive assignments and becoming offensive threats.  And this fellow grabs the disc on the ground, starts looking down field, and faking.  

Please understand: this fellow has no teammates down the field.  He is the first one to the disc. He has been told by handlers behind him that he should "go through".  But, no.  The hero must be a hero.  So, the hero fakes until "stall 7" or so and then tries to force a throw to a receiver who is still huffing and puffing from playing defense and then sprinting down field to play offense.  Of course, this forced throw results in a turnover and the initial defensive effort is wasted.

This fellow seems to believe that, because he wants to throw a goal, a ready receiver will magically appear. Maybe in dreams this happens, but on the field there is precious little magic to be found.  What is easily found, however, is an opportunistic defense that unites against a fellow by taking away his dump and poaching all of his passing lanes. 

This fellow could have been part of a great offensive possession by running through the disc and setting up a big yardage/scoring cut.  But, that's not what heroes do.  Heroes gotta throw goals. I can almost hear the nu metal playing in his head as he imagined the "totally sick put" he was about to make.

Oh well, it was a fun tournament in any case.  It just could have been more fun for all involved (including the hero).